MileSplit Summer Movie Marathon: Saint Ralph

When a trouble-making Catholic schoolboy's cancer-stricken mother falls into a coma, he believes that he needs a miracle in order for God to heal her. So begins the journey of Ralph Walker, the main character of the 2004 film "Saint Ralph." After being forced to join his school's cross-country team as punishment for, let's just say, certain impure actions, Ralph decides that winning the Boston marathon would be the kind of miracle he needs.

Certainly, the mother's nurse says it would take a miracle for her to heal, and Ralph's coach says it would be a miracle if he won the marathon, but I fail to see how these two ideas logically connect. The philosophy of the film seems to be that miracles are like some kind of bartering system -- if Ralph purifies himself as much as his perverse 14-year-old mind can and performs a miracle, God will heal his mother in exchange. God even showed up to tell Ralph all this. He was wearing a Santa suit for reasons beyond my comprehension.

Questionable theology aside, the film has some tender moments. Despite his troubled nature, viewers may come to sympathize with Ralph; the boy has a tough life, with his mother in the hospital, his father dead and the school's tyrannical headmaster always on his case. When Ralph begins running, he can hardly go a mile without nearly collapsing, but he perseveres for his mother's sake. This aspect of the movie does make the viewer appreciate Ralph's character somewhat. We see that he is not all together as terrible as the headmaster believes, even though he smokes, forges letters and is obsessed with girls. The best parts of the film are when we see Ralph grow stronger as a person and as a runner.

Attempts at humor throughout the film's duration are hit-or-miss. At some points, Ralph and his friends inspire smiles, but many times I cringed at moments that were meant to be funny. More than once, Ralph pleasures himself in public places as onlookers wonder what's wrong with him, which might cause viewers Ralph's age to chuckle, but other viewers might just raise a skeptical eyebrow during these scenes. Other times the dialogue is supposed to be humorous but the delivery falls short.

Aside from Ralph, the film spotlights a handful of other characters, some of which are more interesting than others. The mother's nurse is an ex-running weight lifter who helps Ralph alongside his coach: a rebellious priest who likes to read Nietzsche. These characters keep the story interesting, while some of Ralph's friends cause the opposite effect. His best friend Chester is a typical glasses-wearing do-gooder who is afraid of getting in trouble. Ralph's woman of interest is a middle school girl who wants to be a nun and helps him learn how to pray in her monotone voice. Overall, they're just not terribly compelling.

This film is a strange cross between a coming of age story and a standard "inspirational" running movie. In a way, it seems as though it is trying to be "The Sandlot" for runners, but falls short with its yawn-inducing characters, ho-hum humor and nonsensical plot.

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