In today’s world of instant everything, it is imperative that we each have—at our fingertips--a quick guide to the more important things in life. That way we can be an instant expert--or as nearly so as possible--with a minimum of effort. For those already overburdened with school, work, or life in general, the following is intended to provide everything you will ever need to know about cross country, using an even dozen short questions as an illustration. Owing to the fact that I am the author, the answers are not necessarily as short, and the reader may give pause to consider if reality has surrendered itself to repartee.
What is Cross Country?
Cross country is a sport where teams of seven compete on natural surfaces, such as grass, dirt, sand, mud, woodchips, rocks and/or (hopefully) shallow water to see which team can put all or (or most) of their members across the finish line first.
Why do they run?
Because they can.
How far do they run?
In high school, both boys and girls attempt to run 5K, or 3.1 miles. In college, men generally last for 8K (4.98 miles) in regular season meets, and may set out on a 10K (6.2 miles) in championship level meets. College women sally forth on 5Ks in regular meets, and hopefully last the 6K (3.7 miles) at end-of-season championships. In any case, the course may be laid out in such a way as to visit hills, ditches, sandpits, standing water, fallen trees, or hay bales to make the task as challenging as a warped mind can imagine it.
Why is this the only sport that doesn’t involve a ball of some sort?
No one actually knows. It could be that, ages ago, the runner in the lead had one, but in the excitement of being chased by dozens of fleet-footed villagers the object he was carrying slipped from his grasp and rolled away. In other words, with sufficient motivation, the thrill of the chase is enough of a reason to run as fast as humanly possible.
How does a team win?
There are three ways: (1) A team places its first five runners across the finish line before the first five of any other team; (2) The last two runners of one team outrun the slower members of another team, therefore “displacing” their finish in the final score, (3) The other team does not show up.
How does a team score?
The first runner across the finish line gets one point, the second two, and so forth. Only the first five runners on each team are allowed to score.
None of that makes any sense.
Correct. But remember, there is no ball either. Please stick to questions, or you will be required to remain for an essay test.
What is a typical score?
That would depend upon the number of teams running. If only two teams are involved, a perfect score is 15-50. The more teams, and the more runners, the more finish places, and therefore the higher everyone’s score. Still, the team with the lowest score wins.
Why do the biggest guys play football, and the smallest guys run?
Actually, there is an element of inverse proportionality. It was actually the football players who inspired them to begin running. Some of the greatest legends in running got their start in middle school gym class.
Why do running shirts have sayings like “Pain and I are on a first name basis” printed on the back, and not the front?
What good would it do if it was printed on the front? The runner behind you would not be able to read it.
What does a runner do when he is not running?
He reads about running.
What happens to runners as they get older?
They either keep running, in which case they get smaller and smaller until they disappear. Or they stop running, and get bigger and bigger until all they can do is write.