I did not run high school cross country. After entertaining the varsity football players during a daily, 45 minute gym class, I was generally too exhausted to run any further. Beginning in college, however, I did. That was a really long time ago (1967-71), but I do remember that running then was much simpler. The only things we really needed were a uniform, and our black canvas converse track flats. No gloves (we switched our socks from our feet to our hands when it got cold). No tape (except if you wore glasses, and they fell one time too many). And especially no watches (they were considered “banned aids”).
That was then, and this is, of course, now. In 2011 a runner is nothing if not accessorized. So in the interest of our up and coming stars of tomorrow, I offer the following: a list of what to pack in your gear bag the night before making an “appearance” amidst the glitz and glamour of running in the 21st century. (For those who wish to view the unabridged version, please consult the chapter on Running, in the upcoming Ralph’s Complete Book of Lists [1st Edition, copyright 2012],page 610.)
Make it a big bag.
The List:
1 - Pillow; memory foam. (One that will make long bus rides as comfortable as possible.)
2 – Blanket; polar fleece. (This will ward off the chill of a super-cooled charter bus, especially since the bus driver has no doubt had it cranked all the way up since 3:00 AM.)
3 – Laptop; 17” screen. (Thus, for added inspiration, the team can watch “Without Limits,” on the way to the meet.)
4 – i-phone. (This will make it plausible that you didn’t hear that person, whom you want to ignore, when they call your name.)
5 - Ear-buds; white. (When you board the bus, and the coach says, ‘Go to sleep,’ what he really means is ‘Be quiet so I can sleep.’ This will help him relax.)
6 – Breath mints. (When you have to catch a 4:30 AM bus, who has time to brush?)
7 – Gator-aids. (These may not help you run faster, but they will improve your chance of getting your photo on flrunners.com.)
8 – Gatorade. (In case water is the only liquid in the orange containers at the meet.)
9 – Extra spikes. (Cross country length, in case someone cute loses one.)
10 – Flashlight. (To illuminate the spot where you dropped your extra spikes, and the sun still hasn’t come up.)
11 – A magnet. (In case the flashlight doesn’t work.)
12- Compression shorts; neutral white. (“I’m not wearing shorts that are up to here!”)
13 – Sunblock; SPF 100. (Note: This is only if you are a runner on the JV squad, and there are six varsity races that day. In all other cases, SPF 50 should suffice. )
14 – Shin guards; wrap-around. (Relatively new to the sport, but handy if running in a race with 70 or more teams.)
15 – Flip-flops. (Because everyone else brings flip-flops.)
16 – Warm-up shirt with inspirational saying on the back. (To awe the spectators before and after the race; most important if you run 12 minute miles.)
17 – Tent with the team’s name on it. (So that Ralph Epifanio can find you for an interview.)
18 – Football. (To toss it around and impress the girls/guys. Because, unlike football players, cross country runners have small hands, make it a small ball.)
19 – Frisbee. (To replace the football, which your coach will confiscate should you hit said girl/guy in the nose, thereby making a different kind of impression.)
20 – Water bottle; bright orange. (Remember, you left yours behind at the last meet?)
21 – One textbook. Recommendation: Pre-Calculus with Limits (This is in case a photograph of you studying in your tent appears in flrunners.com, and it is seen by any college coaches that might be logging on...logging on, get it?)
22 – Two bucks. (This is in case your coach forgot to tell you there was an admission charge. Make it 22 if you find out that the meet sells commemorative long sleeved t-shirts.)
Now it’s your turn. This is an interactive, season-running commentary, and I look forward to reading about your observations…as does the publisher of my book.