Sometimes all you need is a wake-up call. That one moment where your mind tells you “snap out of it.” That one moment that forces you to re-focus and continue on what you set out to do. That wake-up call came to me on my run Friday night. I was by myself, and chose to listen to music for once, and this is when I started thinking.
I had my regional meet this past Wednesday, which did not go anywhere near as planned from the week prior. I came off my district meet feeling strong and confident for regionals, until I found myself in the hospital that Saturday. I had gotten a stomach virus and as a result, experienced major dehydration to where I need IV fluid to rehydrate. The doctor did not tell me not to race regionals, but he surely did not recommend it. I knew not racing was not an option.
I struggled running the next few days and went into my regional meet extremely nervous and fearful that I was not going to qualify for any event. The goal was 4th, no time goals, no top three performances, just a qualification. I managed to finish 4th in the 1600, but just did not have any energy left for the 800 or 3200. I can’t really describe how running that 3200 felt, other than a huge disappointment and a fight to hold back tears. I was extremely lucky to have Caroline Barlow right there at the finish, and she helped me tremendously. I could walk away from the meet and thank God for giving me one more opportunity to continue my regular high school season for one more week. But, I was not satisfied at all.
These past few days I have been afraid to run in the fear that I will struggle again, and that it will only make me weaker. This fear left me not running Thursday and not running until late Friday night. I finally realized that I am going to have to run eventually, and just hope for the best. I started running and immediately thought to myself, I know what it is like to struggle immensely with running for over a year, and if I could fight back and recover from that, I can recover from something much smaller like this. If I waste my time feeling disappointed, I will get sidetracked from the big picture and what there is still time to accomplish. I still have goals I want to meet and can reach them if I snap out of it and just keep running. Just have a little faith in yourself and your body will follow.
From this one run alone, I learned that, as cliché as it sounds, you can never give up under any circumstances. You have to find that fighter inside, whether it is just under the surface or deep down inside, and have that mentality until you reach your goal. There will always be days that are worse than others and days that are better than others. However, it is the “failures” and disappointments that will only make you hungrier, and your successes will only feel that much greater. Fall down seven times, stand up eight. Struggles actually give new meaning to the sport and help you appreciate success on a whole different level. It is tough while you are stuck, but the rewards will come eventually if you persist. If anyone else is struggling even the slightest bit right now, have some faith, take the support that your family and friends are giving you, and run with it. I know I am.
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